I stand on top of everything, and for a moment, I just want to breathe everything in and get caught in the spectacle of it all.

Somehow, I have no idea how everything will turn out. Don't we all? I just can't help but wish that everything will be okay.

Love could or would probably conquer all... Is life enough for that?

For the past few weeks, I have been trying to put my thoughts into this little haven of mine. However, due to the stress and worries my days were filled with, I opted for rest instead. Sometimes, I don't know how I still breathe evenly and smile.

Now, it's a new year, and just like everyone, I believe in a new start.

Ironically, 2008 was supposed to be the year (according to my Chinese astrology) that would create a good outcomes if I were careful. So, like everyone else, I was very happy to face the new year. I decided to give the profession I studied for in college, another try. I also found myself in a relationship, wherein things were the way I hoped for them to be. Honestly, I really felt like I was Susie Sunshine-- it was finally my place under the sun.

I was wrong. In the middle of the year, I found myself experiencing something women are never supposed to go through. I learned how to distrust men, even close friends, because of one guy who I knew since I was in high school. My career path was going nowhere. I thought, it couldn't be any worse, right? Until last December, 3 members of my family were having health problems. It didn't help also that as the lover and I reached our monumental first year anniversary, we ended up getting into a big fight, and almost broke up.

Don't get me wrong, the year certainly has brought good things also. We were blessed with the first niece and great-grand-daughter for my grandmother in my mom's clan. I was blessed with an even stronger faith. I became even stronger in an emotional aspect, and I learned how I could be a better person.

I know this year could be bad, it also could be good. Besides, in a few more months, I will be reaching the 25th year mark of my life. I'm more prepared now for things that could or could not happen.

Instead of wishing for things out of reach, or even making resolutions that I never do, I'll just live day by day, doing the best that I can absolutely do for me, and everyone around me. No more wishing for gargantuan amounts of happiness, inspiration, luck, or whatever. What matters is that I was able to produce little by little things that have more worth for me.

The best thing to definitely keep me inspired is to remember the many things that I've been blessed with. I'm grateful and thankful for a mom, that despite the distance, has never made me doubt her love or feel less loved. I'm blessed with a cousin that loves me, and cares for me, for the angel that I am, and the devil that I could be. I am surrounded by wonderful people that I call my friends who have never failed in supporting me, filling me with positive things and loving me. I'm thankful for having a lover who has stood by me through a tumultuous year and at the end of the day still loves me. Most of all, I was blessed to have the best kind of love. The kind of love that makes me fear and want more love to offer to our Heavenly Father. I was blessed to have gotten to know Him early on, and a curiosity to know Him even more.

Truly, with all these things, who am I to be not inspired?